Chapter Twenty-six
Memories
“Tsunade-sama,” Shizune entered the room in slow, measured strides, “Sakura’s here.”
The blonde Hokage dropped the scroll she was reading, “Let her in.”
“Hai.” Shizune disappeared and in a few seconds a pink-haired medic entered.
Tsunade regarded her student across the room, “I was starting to think that Kakashi forgot to give you my message.” (1)
Sakura shook her head and approached her table, “I was in the hospital… you know… saving lives.”
Tsunade arched a fine eyebrow at that, “Really now.”
The medic nodded, “I was inside the OR today… Asuma had a minor surgery and—”
“I can see that you’re still an audience in the OR where you’re supposed to be the performer. Are you slacking off?” It’s not that she was belittling her skills. Sakura was the best medic nin she’d ever seen at such a young age. A lot of doctors and surgeons are impressed on her extensive knowledge in the medicine field. A sensei couldn’t be any prouder than she already was. BUT since Tsunade, the Hokage herself was teaching her, Sakura was most likely expected to conduct a surgery on her own.
Sakura felt a little insulted, “Shishou, I still have a lot of things to learn. I’m only nineteen years old.”
“I did my first surgery when I was sixteen!” Tsunade snapped back, “I don’t want you slacking off with your studies, Sakura, so don’t give me that sad excuse of being young. Do you understand?” she fixed her a steady glare and Sakura suddenly found it difficult to swallow.
“Hai, shishou. I apologize.” She lowered her head out of embarrassment. She should really think first before opening her stupid mouth and voicing nonsense. Tsunade was easy to rile up and she should know that by now.
With her temper in check, Tsunade sat straight and composed herself, “I did not call you here to discuss that.”
“You’re going to tell me to back off from listing?”
Tsunade’s glare was fiery, “Stop putting words into my mouth.”
“Sorry.” Sakura wanted to hit herself so bad.
Tsunade slowly breathed out. This is already hard as it was, and Sakura was making it more complicated. “I did proscribe you and Kakashi from missions. But I changed my mind…”
You can be so fickle sometimes, Sakura silently mused. “Then I’m up for another mission?” Much to her surprise, her shishou was looking at her oddly. For the first time, Sakura saw the Hokage look… uncertain. Something was wrong and she was about to tell her that. “Tsunade-shishou?” there was a hint of nervousness in her voice. She didn’t like the way Tsunade was looking at her right now. It’s as if… it’s as if she just decided something crucial… something that has to do with death and sacrifices.
“This whole ordeal with Sand, the plague, the attacks and the kidnapping…” Tsunade closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind. To set herself so she could find the strength to tell her this vital matter. “With or without proof… I can tell that Orochimaru’s involved.” She could tell Sakura flinched at the mention of the snake’s name, “He wants the function of his arms back and only I can heal him. But when he came to me asking for my help, I refused him. He sees no point in persuading me, and so he settled on the apprentice.” She pointedly stared at Sakura, “Sakura, Orochimaru thinks his arms can be healed by a jutsu.” (2)
Sakura blinked slowly, “But isn’t that the only way to heal him? A special sort of jutsu that only you can perform?”
Tsunade shook her head, “There are some situations that jutsus cannot resolve. A jutsu can lessen the pain, yes. But to heal it to its normal function, no jutsu can do that. It takes a lot more, and Orochimaru failed to realize it. It seems the knowledge of that assistant of his lacks after all. He should’ve seen it if he’s observing Orochimaru’s body on a daily basis.”
“So what you’re saying is that…” Sakura’s eyes widened, “He needs to undergo a major operation.”
Tsunade nodded, “Operation is the answer but it’s not simple. If it was, Kabuto most probably would have done it by now.” She opened a few scrolls before her, “Here are some of the techniques used before. I need you to study this.” This is it. She has to tell her now.
“I—you want me to learn it?” Sakura inquired in a shaky voice. “Tsunade-shishou... what are you—”
“Haruno Sakura, this is a special S-class mission I’m asking out of you.” Tsunade’s voice suddenly turned grim. She didn’t want to put her into so much trouble. But it seemed this was the only way. Orochimaru’s openly inviting her to his fortress. This is a chance for them to track him down. I’m sorry, Sakura. But this is for the better. For Konoha… and of course, for you.
“I’m listening…” the girl frowned.
“I want you…” Tsunade started, swallowing as she suddenly started to feel parched, “… to find Orochimaru for me.” The next words that left her mouth made Sakura’s world swirl, “I want you to kill him.”
Sakura’s mouth fell agape; her heart started pounding wild inside her rib cage, feeling the sudden pump of adrenaline within her system. “Kill… Orochimaru?” she murmured, more to herself. To kill Orochimaru? I have to kill him? She couldn’t understand why Tsunade trusted her with this. She’s a jounin, a medic… but not ANBU. She doesn’t have sharingan, nor was she a vessel to any form of a beast, nor could she copy techniques. She’s a medic… she’s Sakura.
“This may seem surprising to you-”
That’s an understatement. Sakura thought bitterly.
“But opportunities like this can’t be simply ignored. This is our chance to track him down… a chance to end his insanity.”
“H-how?” Sakura frantically searched her sensei’s eyes, “How am I supposed to kill him?”
“During the operation… a forbidden jutsu shall be performed. I will teach you this jutsu; at the same time you will learn how to execute the surgery.”
“A forbidden jutsu?”
“I will teach you everything in one week. Can you do that?”
Sakura’s eyes fell on the ground, “As long as I can concentrate… I think I can. A week is enough.”
“But before you can go to the actual operation… you know you have to do numerous things to gain their trust.”
“I… I understand.” Her skin turned pale and appeared as if she was about to faint at any given moment.
Tsunade’s concern was evident and it crossed her face, “Sakura. Can you do this? Tell me.”
Sakura bit her lip nervously, her fingers fidgeting as she held her hands together. It’s an S-class mission. Tsunade-shishou’s giving you a vital task such as this… you Sakura… Tsunade-shishou trusts you this much… you have to accept. Show her that you can do this… show her that you’re strong. Sakura closed her eyes momentarily, I’m strong. I CAN do this… I know I can… But accepting this also meant that she has to sacrifice everything. And that includes her life. The chances of living through this mission are thin.
“Sakura.” Tsunade called again, not liking how Sakura turned paler and paler.
“My parents…” she started out of the blue.
“No one’s supposed to know this mission asides from the people who’re involved.” Tsunade assured her, hoping that this will somehow ease her.
Sakura nodded, feeling a little relieved. “You said there are other people involved.”
Tsunade nodded, “We need outside help. The Kazekage confirmed his cooperation but will only involve a few people. The ANBU’s also informed and we’re currently forming a team to keep an eye on you. This is a top secret mission, Sakura. Not a word from you when you get out of here.”
“Hai.”
“Not even to Kakashi, do you understand?”
“Hai.” Sakura firmly nodded.
“Do I have your consent now?” Tsunade asked again. She doesn’t want to start this if Sakura was not cooperative.
Sakura had her brows drawn into a tight frown. Can she really do this? Is it worth it to sacrifice herself? But you’re the source of this, Sakura. It’s your fault Sand was attacked. You’re the reason why there was a plague… you’re the one he wants… Tsunade realized this earlier that’s why she said they couldn’t afford to lose this opportunity.
The inkling feeling of failing also bothered the pink-haired medic. She’s not strong enough. Orochimaru is by far stronger. He used to be an Akatsuki member and one of the Sennin. Even Naruto’s three-tailed kyuubi form did not manage to stop him.
I’m not meant to fight him. I’m being used to track him down… ANBU will do the rest…
“This mission also includes your chances of joining ANBU.” The Hokage told her, knowing fully well that joining the ANBU squad was one of Sakura’s dreams.
Sakura’s hands clenched at her sides. Should she agree to this?
Is it worth it?
“I completely understand if you refuse.” Although Tsunade meant it, there was intoning of disappointment within.
Kakashi… what should I do? Accepting the mission also includes not telling anyone. She had to act normal with everyone. Can she put up with it?
“Sakura…”
Taking in a deep breath to calm her nerves, Sakura unclenched her hands and looked at the Hokage straight in the eyes. “I… I will do it. I accept.” She knew her words sealed her chances of backing out.
Tsunade smiled a little and nodded, admiring her apprentice’s courage. Taking her as her student was something she would never regret. She could almost see herself in her, “Alright.” Tsunade stood up, “Let’s start the briefing.”
**
“Oi! Sakura! Yoohoo!” Naruto waved a hand in front of her face, “Are you there? Hulllooo!”
Sakura snarled and hit him hard on the head, “Stop that!”
Naruto winced, “Iitaaiii… why’d you hit me??”
“You were annoying,” Sakura reasoned simply before taking a sip of her sake.
Sasuke was smirking at the blonde, loving the way Naruto was pulped by a woman. “You’re an embarrassment to our species, dobe.”
“Stop calling me that you bastard!”
Kakashi laughed and ruffled their heads, much to Sasuke’s chagrin, “Hey now, we’re here to celebrate, remember?”
“What exactly for?” Sasuke drawled.
“Hm,” Kakashi turned toward the sour Uchiha, “This is the first time we sat together in a pub… after five years.”
Everyone fell silent at that.
“I wonder how you manage to convince Gaara to get me out of that cage…” Sakura piped in. The last thing she needed was tension.
“He sweet talked him,” Sasuke pointed a thumb over Naruto who renewed his anger toward the Uchiha.
“Wow.” Sakura smiled at the blonde, “You do really have a strong influence on him…”
“Yeah…” Naruto’s eyes dropped as well as Sakura’s. It seemed the fight with the Akatsuki and the vessel issue crossed both of their minds.
Sasuke blinked at them as Kakashi pretended he did not notice.
The prodigy however refused to feel left out and forced yet another insult out of his mouth, “Quit frowning, idiot. You’re ugly as it is.”
“What did you say??”
Sakura sighed and shook her head. Some things never change, so it seemed.
Kakashi looked at Sakura across the table, frowning at the way she’s staring at the two. That look in her face… looked strange. It’s as if she’s taking all in, even the expressions on Naruto and Sasuke’s faces as they went for another senseless tirade.
“Sakura,” he suddenly called and effectively brought the girl out of her reverie.
Sakura looked up only to find Kakashi frowning at her, “What?”
“Are you alright?” he worriedly asked.
It took a few seconds before she managed to pull out a placating smile, “Yes. I’m fine.”
That smile pained him somehow. It’s obvious that she’s forcing it to look sincere but failed since Kakashi knew her too well.
“Ne, ne, Sakura-chan!” Naruto immediately interrupted the two, much to Sakura’s relief. “Which one of us taller, huh? I’m taller than Sasuke, right?”
Sakura felt a headache coming, “Don’t tell me you’re fighting over that.”
Sasuke sneered, glaring death as the blonde stood up to prove his point, “Standing up in a chair doesn’t make you much taller than I am.”
“You shut up!” Naruto yelled, “Get up here and let’s see who’s taller!”
Sasuke indignantly huffed, “I am not going to imitate you and make a fool out of myself, you moron.”
“Quit calling me names, you bastard!”
Sakura wanted to hit her head on the table. “You’re both tall, end of discussion.”
“Aww c’mon, Sakura!”
“Kakashi’s taller, end of discussion.” Sakura blurted with a careless shrug.
“No fair!” Naruto bellowed. He can really make a scene in just a matter of minutes. “Just because you’re with him doesn’t mean you have to take his side! That’s bias! And he’s not even included!” The blonde practically whined like a five-year old as he sat back on his chair, crossing his arms.
Sakura’s mouth fell, swiftly sending Kakashi a surprised look.
Kakashi shrugged his shoulders, “Don’t look at me. He just knows.”
“Yeah, I know everything even if no one bothered to tell me!” Naruto’s practically sulking now, “See? Even Sasuke knows!”
Sasuke suddenly felt the urge to bury the stupid blonde six feet under.
Sakura, however, suddenly realized how much she neglected Naruto out of this and it made her feel guilty. He’s also her best friend, too. He does have the right to know. “Naruto… I’m sorry. It just happened… I-I really was about to tell you—”
Naruto rolled his eyes, “It’s okay. No harm done, Sakura-Chan. I understand…” to reassure her, he grinned widely. He’s not really mad or anything of that sort. He knew perfectly how difficult the situation was for both Kakashi and Sakura. Their relationship was… odd, and odd things aren’t easily accepted in the real world. Sakura kept it from him because she knew he wouldn’t understand.
Sakura softly smiled in return, “Naruto-kun…”
“So,” Naruto leaned over the table, wriggled his eyebrows and asked, “Have you made out?”
Kakashi almost fell off his chair as Sasuke choked from his sake.
A loud crash startled the crowd followed by an excruciating scream, “IIIIIITTTAAAIIII!!!!”
Hellfire started thereafter.
**
Right after that holocaust, the group left the pub immediately after the barkeeper threw them out. Both Sasuke and Naruto were at each other’s throats as they headed down to the inn they were staying at. Kakashi, however, volunteered to walk and she gladly accepted. It had been awhile since the last time they did this.
There was an awkward silence as they walked, neither tried to start a conversation until they were only a block away from the Kazekage’s residence.
“Sakura.”
The girl halted her steps and looked over her shoulder, a look of curiosity all over her face, “Yes?”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” there was a look of sheer worry on her ex-sensei’s face and this made her flinch slightly. Kakashi was perceptive as always and, unfortunately, Sakura was the topic of his current interest.
Sakura gasped, her hand immediately flying over her heart in an act of panic. She obviously couldn’t find the right words to answer that.
**
Kankuro watched Takamaru land gracefully by the window of his makeshift office within the barracks. He took the message attached to its leg and read silently. It was a one paragraph message and Kankuro understood perfectly well.
“It’s from Gaara, isn’t it?” Shikamaru asked across the room along with Neji, who was standing next to him.
The puppeteer nodded, crumpling the paper and throwing it straight to the bin, “We got a day to prepare. She’s leaving by dawn.” He looked up and addressed the silent Hyuuga, “Have you tracked their location yet?”
Neji nodded, “They will be here by sunset on the morrow.”
“I see.” He waved a hand off and grunted, “You’re dismissed. I’ll call you when a briefing is ordered.”
“Hai.” The two said in unison and left the tent.
Outside, Shikamaru noticed the nasty frown on Neji’s face, “This is for the better, you know?”
“I know that.” Neji snapped back as his steps slowly ceased, “But a mission like this… it’s suicidal.”
Shikamaru stopped next to him and stared up into the vast blue skies, “She already accepted it. There’s nothing we can do to stop her.” The moment they were told about this mission, he wanted to refuse badly. He didn’t want to get involved with anything that has to deal with sacrificing a good friend of his. It was ridiculous at first but as he let the whole concept sink in, he realized that it’s the wisest thing to do. Perhaps Sakura realized this as well and accepted the mission openly. There must be some hesitations as he and Neji had when they were asked to sign in. But the thought of finally unravelling Orochimaru’s whereabouts somehow clears up the fog of doubts.
Neji found his situation difficult, especially when Kakashi and Naruto stepped into the camp. Tsunade instructed to stall them while Sasuke and Sakura moved to Sand. Neji and Shikamaru had to lie to the two the entire time. But when the two decided to offer help entirely, they thought that the actual plan would backfire. They couldn’t have the two staying inside the camp while the S-class mission unfolded. And so, Tsunade took drastic measures and sent Kakashi a message with Sakura’s location. She knew that Kakashi wouldn’t think a thing or two about it and follow her immediately to Sand.
The bandits were approaching fast, just as they planned.
“We’ll just hope this ends well,” Shikamaru quietly told him.
Neji couldn’t help but to agree, “Yeah.”
**
The way Sakura reacted was proof enough that she was hiding something. He purposely took slow, measured strides toward her and stopped just short to provide her some personal space. “You seem to be preoccupied tonight. There’s something on your mind…” he couldn’t understand why she was partly quiet back in the pub. She’s acting strange and he somehow assumed that it had something to do with him. But then again, they already talked it out this afternoon so… what could possibly bring out that longing look on her face?
They stared at each other for awhile, as Sakura’s guilt gnawed her raw. She opted for silence since that always worked. But it seemed Kakashi’s having none of it.
“You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you tell someone whatever is bothering you.” Kakashi tried again and was disappointed when Sakura gradually lowered her eyes to the ground. “I won’t force you if you don’t want to.” He finally dropped the subject, knowing that he’s not getting anything from her. He resumed walking and went past her.
Sakura still stood there as she heard his footfalls behind her. I’m sorry… I can’t… I shouldn’t… I’m sorry… A rush of unwanted sorrow washed over her. Will I ever see him again? She wondered silently. It seemed if ever she so fails to survive this mission, she will never see Kakashi again. If you die… he will never forgive you. With those words replaying inside her head, Sakura took in a shaky breath and went to follow the copy-nin, who was now way ahead of her. Her eyes fell on the expanse of Kakashi’s back, I will never see him again… she felt her eyes prickle as tears began to form from the blatant reality. She blinked them away quickly, hoping that Kakashi won’t see her crying like a baby again.
I will never see him again. The thought struck like thunder, her heart clenched tightly in her chest, as her vision began to swirl. I will never feel his touch… his kiss… his love… if I die… I can’t be with him anymore. The irony of the situation made her feel bitter. She finally found the man she loved and who loved her back. Kakashi may not say it, but the subtle hints such as his fleeting touches, his chaste kisses, the look in his eyes… it just screamed love. And it hurt to know that she will lose everything by tomorrow…
All of a sudden, she felt the need to touch him and to feel his warmth so she could have something to remember as she set foot in Orochimaru’s lair. She wanted something that will keep her sane from the possible things that may occur once she submitted herself to that vile snake.
Sakura stopped immediately and then called out, “Kakashi!”
The copy-nin stopped and turned toward her with an arched brow. As if that wasn’t enough to bowl him over, Sakura started running towards him and he quickly caught the girl in a surprised embrace.
Sakura gripped the front of his shirt, burying her nose deep into the recesses of his neck. “Kakashi…” she called again in a shaky voice. Should she risk it? Is it proper for her to ask him of something that she will never forget? But what if he turns her down and walks away? What if he got angry and feels disgusted at her? What if he hates her for even asking something so obscene?
Kakashi’s hands went to grip her arms to pull her away in arms-length. He looked straight into her eyes, searching whatever she was trying to hide. “Sakura, are you alright?” All he saw was desperation and yearning. He was confused all of a sudden. “Sakura-”
“Stay with me,” she frantically begged, “just for tonight, stay with me!”
“What brought this up?” It’s not that the idea wasn’t appealing, no, not at all. It’s something he’d wanted to do since their return to Konoha. But with Sakura looking all distressed and troubled, Kakashi felt a little reluctant abiding with her request.
Sakura tried to calm down by closing her eyes for a moment, “I… I miss you. Sleeping alone doesn’t feel right anymore…” Although it was partly true, she hoped that this somehow convinced him without prodding his curiosity further.
“Sakura—” any protest died when Sakura boldly pulled his mask down, cupped his head and leaned up to kiss him. The passionate lip lock threw him off and he ended up leading by angling her head. When it was over, Kakashi stared down to watch Sakura’s flushed face with darkening eyes, “Are you sure about this?” His hand slowly caressed her sides while trying to control the sudden upsurge of lust within him. It’s been awhile since he felt something like this. Swallowing hard, he knew that he completely embarked into this treacherous desire that Sakura initiated. He wanted to kiss her again as his lips move across the pale expanse of her throat. He wanted it so bad, it hurts.
Sakura revelled at Kakashi’s fleeting touches and nodded. With her eyes closed, she let herself sink into the feel of his mouth running over her jaw line and onto her ear. “There’s no turning back.” He could feel her hands all-over him, clinging to him frantically as if she’s drowning.
“Yes. Yes, I’m sure!” she breathily murmured as she felt his hot breath caressing the shell of her ear. “Please, give me this?”
Kakashi still remained averse, “You’re not thinking clearly… I can’t take advantage of that…” he silently wished that it’s not the alcohol talking.
Sakura shook her head violently and threw her arms around him, “Just show me that I’m loved, please? I ask not for your words but for your actions… I need to feel it.” Her eyes closed tightly, burying her face further into his shirt. “Please?”
Silence followed as the two remained in the middle of the street, engaged in an intimate embrace. Kakashi seemed to be analyzing every pro and con of Sakura’s offer. Sakura’s a wreck right now and it hurts him that she wouldn’t tell the reason of her anxiety. And now she’s proposing something he’d been dreaming of for the past few weeks.
For once, he had no idea what to do.
TBC