Chapter Nine

One step backwards

Among the mission trips she had done before, this has got to be the most difficult of all. They had to take the longest routes in order to get to Sand unseen. They passed almost two villages already, went through forests, and crossed a couple of rivers. Only a couple more villages and the whole journey would be over, for her and her team that is. Kakashi, Neji and Shikamaru were asked to report immediately to the Hokage after escorting the whole medic team safely.

Running through the forest and jumping on trees was no biggie for the whole team but soon a lot of them grew tired. Noticing this, Kakashi called everyone to halt and decided to camp the moment the sun was about to set.

Sakura asked two of her trainees to fetch wood while the others prepared the tents and food. For three days, they’ve been doing the same routine, ordering everyone around isn’t necessary.

Shikamaru, being the lazy individual he was, immediately hit the sack. Kakashi however plucked the ever present orange book out of his pocket and took his spot in one of the trees. A smirk played his lips the moment he noticed the disapproving look Sakura was sending him.

Sakura was in no mood today to reprimand Kakashi about his—sick—fascination with that book of his, so she went to sit near the fire next to Neji who had been staring blankly on it ever since it was built. His eyes however watched her closely as she sat next to him.

She offered a smile, “Mind if I sit here?” She and Neji are friends… but somehow he still makes her a little uncomfortable.

Shrugging his shoulders, Neji replied with indifference, “Suit yourself.”

The sun was finally out and darkness ate the whole forest with only the bonfire serving as their light. Sakura took off her leg guards, stretched out and rested her legs on the side. She’d been meaning to do that ever since they found this clearing.

Neither did she know the Hyuuga genius was watching her every move with mild interest. Perhaps, that’s the only interesting thing he could notice here in the midst of this wilderness. “It’s amazing.” He started offhandedly, earning a questioning look from Sakura and a warning glare from the other.

“What is?” Sakura couldn’t help but ask, not wanting to break the talk he started. Its rare Neji starts any conversation. It was kinda—weird, but in some way she was relieved that Neji was actually human after all.

Neji noticed the sudden sparkle of interest in her eyes that made him immediately avert his eyes towards the fire; “Even after the wedding incident you still faced everyone as if nothing happened…” he couldn’t understand why? If it had happened to any other girl, she would’ve locked herself inside her room, ashamed to face anyone for at least a month or so. The humiliation of two families is enough to traumatize a young girl’s mind. But Sakura was not any other girl. She was Sakura, former member of team 7, student of the Hokage, and top medic nin at the same time. She had achieved so many things in the past nineteen years of her life. She was definitely not any ordinary girl, which explained why she was acting different from the other female population.

Sakura shrugged her shoulders. “It’s the only thing I can do for myself, Neji-kun.” Her eyes turned and watched the fire with its tips licking the cold breezy air. She drew her knees against her chest and rested her chin upon them, “I can’t mope like a wimpy girl. Not anymore. I’m no longer twelve-years old, if you noticed.” She could still remember the days she cried her eyes out after Sasuke left. “Crying and admitting defeat is the real humiliation. If I did, I would’ve been more embarrassed. Facing the problem is way easier than running away from it.”

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, why?” Neji almost asked in a grumble. He was curious and he wanted to ask. What was so wrong about that?

Sakura blinked at him, “You mean, why I didn’t marry Sasuke?”

Neji nodded, “As far as I can remember, you and Shikamaru’s girlfriend used to chase him.”

“Used to,” Sakura pressed, “its past tense.”

Neji was silent and then nodded, “I see.” But his interrogations aren’t over. He still thirsted for answers, just to relieve his uncharacteristic curiosity. “Isn’t he worth it for you?”

“What?” Sakura laughed, finding that incredibly amusing, “Sasuke? Not worth it? Me?” she incredulously asked with arched brows while pointing a finger towards her chest, “One of the most desirable men in Konoha? That’s funny!”

“I wasn’t joking,” Neji looked affronted, completely misinterpreting Sakura’s laughter.

Sakura took pity on him and ceased her giggling, “I’m sorry. It’s just—well, it’s surprising…”

“What is?”

“You asking that question. I’m not used to it.”

“Why?”

“Hah?” Sakura looked at him as if he had just grown two heads.

Neji ignored her reaction and spoke instead, “You’re different from any other girl in Konoha, Sakura. Don’t think less of yourself.” He didn’t know how to say it without making her blush or something. He meant to say she was lovely inside and out but that would probably add her up to his fan club. Aren’t we a little too vain?

Sakura’s throat was parched, “I am?” she couldn’t believe this coming from Neji. She blinked her way towards reality and finally said, “So, that explains why Sasuke wants me to bear his child?”

Neji’s eyes slightly widened at this sudden statement. His head quickly turned and stared at her, “Bear his what?”

Do I have to explain this over and over again? With a defeated sigh, Sakura replied, “Sasuke wants an heir.”

“I see…” he turned towards the fire, eyes slowly closing as if he’s growing tired, “I can’t blame him…”

“What?” seriously, Hyuuga Neji’s starting to freak her out. Maybe her decision of sitting down next to him was a bad idea after all. A perv Kakashi, she can handle. But a straight-forward, talkative Neji? That’s another question.

“As what I’ve said, you’re lovely inside and out—”

Okay, now that was enough for Sakura to tumble her way downward the hill, “You never said that…” she could tell her cheeks blushing like mad right now. It’s not everyday a handsome boy tells you flatteries such as this! It was so rare. And to think it came out from Neji’s mouth! His fan girls might actually throttle her to death if they heard their Neji-sama talking to her like this.

You’re stupid, admit it. Neji tried to look unfazed. “Everyone who wants to continue their precious bloodline would love you to have their child.” Yes, I-am-a-fucking-moron. That didn’t make things any better! It made everything worse!

Sakura direly wanted to ask, Who are you and what have you done to Neji, the real one?? But instead she said, “Does that include you?” Realizing her mistake of asking that and seeing the look of surprise on Neji’s face made her immediately sputter, “A-and Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji and—” as if that was a good excuse…

Neji blushed a little and quickly looked away. How did their conversation turned out like this? It was strange and made him feel weird things. He could see Sakura was in the same predicament too and so he decided the conversation must-end-now.

“Maybe we should stop talking.” Neji proposed.

Sakura eagerly nodded, “Yeah, let’s do that.” They turned their heads on opposite sides, refusing any possible eye contact.

Finding the proximity of Neji’s presence suffocating, Sakura decided to get up and head for bed. The Hyuuga genius didn’t even look when she moved. “I, I’ll head for bed now… err, good night.” She didn’t wait for him to return the gesture and quickly made her way towards her tent.

With a sigh of relief, Sakura rummaged through her things and realized she needed a bath. While travelling she noticed a stream not too far from camp and decided to grab her bath kit and head there. When she went outside, she noticed everyone was asleep except for one medic trainee who’s assigned for the look out. She couldn’t find Neji anywhere and that brought relief. Come to think of it, even Kakashi wasn’t there anymore. Strange, she didn’t even notice him enter his tent nor did he say good night. That somehow disappointed her.

**

The walk towards the stream wasn’t long but if you haven’t been careful, you’d actually get lost with its maze-like route. At least that assured her that no one will disturb her bath. A rather large boulder stood proud not too far away from the stream and Sakura used it to place her things. Taking off her hair tie, pink tresses fell like waterfall almost over her shoulders. Ever since Ino cut her hair during their final chuunin exam, Sakura kept her hair short. It symbolizes her maturity as well her-getting-over her lifelong infatuation towards Sasuke.

Sasuke

She strips from her clothes and dipped into the stream with a sigh.

Funny how she hates him and at the same time worries on how their situation affected him. Did he really take it like a real gentleman or is he balling it all up inside? They haven’t seen each other for days. She left Konoha without patching things up between them.

Why are you so worried anyway? It’s his fault! Let him suffer…

No, he’s still your friend…

A friend never forces you to do something you don’t like.

I know… but, what if there’s more than that? What if he really likes me?

That’s nonsense! You know Uchiha’s never fall in love.

He lost his family at a very young age but that doesn’t mean he’s not capable to love. He probably yearns for it and you ruined it.

I can’t ruin anything that isn’t there in the first place…

This is hopeless; we’re going around in circles.

It’s your fault! You’re my conscience, you’re supposed to clear my mind not torture it!

Well, excuse me; I speak out for your inner emotions. No pretences!

Get out of my head, please? You’re giving me a headache…

Suit yourself…

Sakura opened her eyes and realized she had been soaking in the water far too long. It seemed she had been soaking for almost thirty minutes after noticing her skin wrinkling like dried prunes, much to her disgust. She quickly rose from the water and wrapped herself in a towel. After changing into fresh clothes and drying her hair, she started towards the campsite, following every detailed direction she took.

When she returned, she noticed a lone figure sitting on Kakashi’s previous spot. No wait a minute that is Kakashi.

“Sensei?”

His eyes averted the moment he saw his ex-student looking at him weirdly. Giving a sheepish smile, Kakashi scratched the back of his neck and said, “Someone said you went out, so I took Daigaro’s place. I’m here for the look out.”

“Don’t you trust my men?” her eyes dangerously narrowed.

Kakashi shrugged his shoulders, “I do. But since my former student is the one who went off to the forest without my permission, then I guess it’s my responsibility to do the look out, don’t you think?” he playfully winked at her, praying that somehow that did not irritate her on some point. She was a little cranky these past few days, no one in particular tried to mess with her.

Sakura rolled her eyes and went back to her tent to dump her things. After that she went back and sat next to Kakashi, ignoring the knowing smirk playing his lips.

“I thought you were sleeping?” Sakura asked, leaning against the tree while watching the full moon.

“Why?”

“Because you disappeared when I went back to my tent.”

“Oh that,” for the second time he shrugged his shoulders, “I got bored.”

“You? Bored? With Icha-Icha?” Sakura asked, trying not to laugh out loud.

“Oi, my life doesn’t revolve around Icha Icha alone.”

“Really, for someone who read that book for decades, I’d say you’re lying.”

“You’re smug.” He countered. “Hm, I take that Hyuuga Neji occupied your time.”

“Oh yes, he did occupy my time.” A blush softly crossed her cheeks but the thought of her conversation with Neji a few hours ago amused her to no end. No, she was not developing any crush towards the Hyuuga genius. She considered him now as a friend, a real friend, not a hi-hello-goodbye kind of acquaintance. “He’s so fun to talk with.”

“And I’m not?” Sakura did not know where that question came from and why he asked. Is that jealousy and disappointment hinting his voice?

“You were reading. I didn’t want to disturb you so I went to him.”

Kakashi however misinterpreted her actions. When she looked at him and then went to sit next to Hyuuga for some reasons hurt him. He himself was confused. He didn’t want her reprimanding him about his choice of reading materials and at the same time he didn’t want her talking to anybody else. Men in particular.

His silence confirmed Sakura’s suspicion. A dog-eat-shit grin spread her smug face, “You’re jealous aren’t you?”

Kakashi chuckled and shook his head in disbelief, “You know me too well…”

Sakura fell agape. She expected him to deny that, “You really were jealous?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed and looked up at the moon, “maybe because we’re always talking together for years. I’m just not used seeing you ignoring me for once.”

“You mean, you’d rather have me annoy you than ignore you?” she couldn’t help the smile tugging her lips again. Somehow, Kakashi’s flattering words brought warmth all-over her.

Goofily, Kakashi grinned back at her, “Maybe.”

Sakura lightly laughed and snaked an arm around his, resting her head against his shoulder. She felt him leaning his head on top of hers, both relishing the calming silence. “You’re weird, you know that?” then closing her eyes she faintly added, “But I like this side of yours…”

“Then, you’re weird too…”

“Am not!” she raised her head so fast; Kakashi had to dodge it before she hits his jaw. But that only made everything worse. Their faces were now only a hairbreadth away from each other. They were both too stunned to move.

Sakura’s eyes widened as her cheeks blushed like there was no tomorrow. Why wasn’t she moving? Move, Sakura! Move! And move she did. She turned her head but failed miserably when his fingers caught her chin, preventing her from turning away. Sakura noticed him still looking at her, so she turned her eyes away instead. Somehow, she couldn’t find the strength to look back at him. As if the tension wasn’t enough, the copy-nin brushed her lips with his thumb and was about to lean further.

“Kakashi—”

Kakashi stopped and looked at her as if he just got out of a trance. Realizing what he was about to do, he quickly withdraw and said in a grave voice, “Go to sleep, Sakura.” And just like that his touch vanished. Like lightning, he stood up and sat away from her.

All she could do was blink and watch everything in a blur. What happened? She frantically searched around and found him sitting with his back facing her. A frown immediately marred her once dazed face. She stayed there and stared at him for a moment until the silence was unbearable. She stood up, dusted off her derrière and softly said, “W-well, good night then…” and then she went inside her tent, taking one last glance on his profile before zipping it closed to any prying eyes.

Outside, Kakashi fought his inner turmoil. If he didn’t pull away, what would’ve happened? Further touching or kissing perhaps? You’ve got it bad and you know it… he shook his head and absently observed the pebbles beneath his feet. He couldn’t believe she didn’t pushed him away nor beat the bloody pulp out of him. He couldn’t understand why she looked so hopeful when he dared to brush her lips. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t run away when his eyes trailed the beautiful features of her face, the deep green of her eyes when he stared at them… Why, why, why?

“You’re a fucking screw up, Kakashi…” he should stop this before it ruins their friendship. And in order to do that, he had to take one step backwards.

TBC